The Second Lesson – ‘Reciprocity’
Continuing with ‘Influencing’ and following on from our First lesson ‘Being Liked’ we advance to
Reciprocity
Reciprocity is the natural human tendency to give back what we receive. “Givers gain”, is a common catch phrase in networking circles and in many ways reciprocity is one of those principles that we can readily recognised as it’s one of the core principles of survival.
If you do something for me then I’ll do something for you
Tribal communities survive by working together and doing things for the other members of the tribe. Those who don’t contribute but just take are quickly excluded. In modern cultures we still recognise this as being important. ANY relationship we have (but certainly in business) will only work well if there is mutual benefit.
Reciprocity.
This principle applies to every human interaction we have: personally with relationships but also socially (buying rounds of drinks) and professionally by adding value to business relationships perhaps through free information, products & services or by going above & beyond when it comes to quality of service etc. If the person you’re with has received a certain amount of value from you there will be a need to reciprocate.
Within that, there is something called “Reciprocity of Concessions” which can be illustrated through one of Robert Cialdini’s personal experiences.
Robert was coming out of his university offices and he was approached by a Boy Scout who asked if he might be able to support an upcoming scouting event. Robert politely declined and began to move on.
This is where it got interesting.
The Boy Scout persisted by asking, “OK, but would you buy this chocolate so that we can help to sponsor the event”, Robert said “Yes of course” and he actually bought three dollars worth (a dollar a bar). A few yards down the road and he stopped and said to himself, “What happened there? I wasn’t able to help with the main event, I didn’t want to spend any money and I don’t like chocolate!”
Why did he end up spending money on chocolate, something that he doesn’t like?
He went back to his research assistant and they came up with Reciprocity of Concessions. If a large request, once declined, is followed up by a smaller request (the ‘seller’ concedes) the ‘buyer’ is much more likely to make similar concessions by agreeing to ‘meet half way’.
A couple of things here: There is always the chance that if the opportunity is presented well then ‘pitching big’ will be accepted. If not, then being able to concede to a lesser offer – even if it is still more than the ‘buyer’ might have initially considered – increases the probability of the fall back offer being accepted.
